When your sick of dating
But while you can’t choose not to have that first thought, you decide not to let yourself follow it. Force yourself to finish reading that Tweet, or maybe even that book you were so into before you met him. So if you’re having a serious flirtation with a guy and feel like you’re getting swept away, get back into reality STAT. The Pattern: When you like a guy, you try to orchestrate events that will bring you together, like organizing a happy hour after work or a night out dancing with your classmates. You are trying to push him to ask you out NOW so you don’t have to sit with your anxiety all week.Instead of lying in bed reliving a yummy date, go out to brunch with a friend. As uncomfortable as it might be, try to have a conversation about what’s actually going on between you rather than indefinitely staying in a fantasy relationship with him. It’s masochistic to be involved with a guy who’s not truly available for a relationship with you, whether it’s because he has a girlfriend, a wife, or just issues. The morning after a date you text him, “Thanks so much for last night, it was amazing! You feel like you have to plot out every step of this relationship and without your constant vigilance, it will wither away and die. You are not really in control anyway, even though you think you are.If you feel like you missed the class that taught everything you needed to know about dating and you just can’t make these things called relationships work, you may be stuck in some unhealthy romantic patterns.These default strategies can often kick in without us even knowing it — from the moment those first crushy feelings arise and take hold until the relationship inevitably crashes and burns and sometimes beyond, making it difficult to get over a guy and move on with your dating life.
And if she dumped me, I wouldn’t suddenly get dumber.Staying stuck in old patterns gives you an excuse not to push your comfort zones, strive to be your best and face your own stuff.Well, I’m getting pretty tired of sharing the same guidance over and over.Ironically, the very behaviors you engage in to get into a healthy, loving, committed relationship do just the opposite, leaving you in tremendous pain and feeling like you’re destined to be alone forever.
Looking back at the wreckage of your relationship history, you’ll know if it’s time to cleanse your dating palate of the chaotic and destructive patterns that have gotten you to where you are, overwhelmed by loneliness and afraid you’ll be perpetually single.
If you want love in your life you have to actually follow the advice experts give you!